King’s scholar in New Haven

Daniya (lower left corner) enjoys the Yale-Harvard football game with a group of friends.

Moving from Tungmahamek Primary School to Satit Patumwan to the elite Yale University is not your typical progression for Thai students. From the sound of it, however, young Daniya is fitting in quite well

I unlocked the door again. Sure that no one else was there, I marched in. This time, someone was inside!

“Hi! My name is Liz.” She extended her right hand, indicating she wanted to be friends with me.

“Hi! My name is Daniya.” I replied and shook hands with her, my roommate.

Soon after, we met our two suitemates, Lara and Puyao.

On my first night at Yale, we sat down, showed each other our pictures, and had a chat. Liz told us that she lived in New York City. Lara flew in from California, while Puyao lived only ten minutes from Yale, but she originally emigrated from China when she was five.

It was my turn to introduce myself.

“I’m from Thailand. I won a King’s scholarship from the Thai government. Last year I went to Phillips Exeter Academy, a prep school in New Hampshire. There, I learned a lot about the U.S. educational system, culture – that sort of thing.”

Bingham Hall, Daniya’s home for a year

At Yale University, each undergraduate belongs to one of the twelve residential colleges, each of which has a dining hall, a library and dormitories. The residential colleges are excellent places where you can learn about the non-academic life of the “Yalies” (Yalie is what we call a Yale student). But most freshmen, including me, live on Old Campus and we move to our colleges in our sophomore year. I, for example, belong to Calhoun College where first year students live in Bingham Hall.

The dining hall in a residential college is where students chill out with their friends in the college. The food there is mostly American. It definitely took me a while to adjust to the cheeseburgers or bagels with peanut butter – which, by now, have become my favourite.

Even burghers are educated in New Haven

We also have Commons, the main big dining hall, as well as many other libraries such as Sterling Memorial Library or Cross Campus Library.

Every year each college has its “screw dance” when roommates find each other a blind date from any other college. Besides giving us the chance to have fun, the screw dance allows us an opportunity to meet new people. Another screw dance is the freshman screw, which is for freshmen only. I definitely didn’t want to miss this unique chance. My date was Niraaj, an Indian student who was born in the States. Of course, we’ve become friends since then.

Roommates don’t just find dates for each other though. We are also there to help each other out. When it comes to English writing, for example, I, the only member of the suite whose native language is not English, seek the most help with vocabulary. In return, Lara who took the Buddhism class in spring semester and Puyao who took multi-variable calculus have sometimes asked me for some help with their lessons. Liz and I, who took the same psychology class, also encouraged each other to study for tests and consulted with each other when we had questions about the material.

The four roommates are dressed for a dance: Puyao, Daniya, Lara, and Elizabeth (Liz). [photo by Lara Berlin]

Indeed, the year living together has built a strong bond among the four of us. When any of us comes in with good news, we celebrate together. When any of us has problems, we talk to each other to find the best solution. When any of us suffer, we can always cry on the shoulders of the rest.

Near the end of the year, we once had a Girl’s Night when we wrote on our message board in front of our suite that “We hate boyz!”. We locked the door and we talked about fashions and movies, made ourselves hot chocolate, and did some girl stuff like painting our nails. My most memorable part of that night was when we talked about the first moment we got to know each other.

As I laughed with my roommates, I thought about my very first days with them. I remembered calling home and complaining to my mom about these “strangers” I have to live with. But now I know I should never judge people at first glance.

I didn’t really have any particular impression of Puyao at first because then she was mostly hanging out of the dorm. As for Lara, I initially didn’t really like her because she didn’t smile at me when I thanked her for helping me move in. Who could know? She is now one of the people I turn to the most when I have problems. Liz also gave me a false first impression. A girl with glasses and a nerdy look turned out to be an outgoing and lively friend who is the best procrastinator ever.

To be honest, however, I didn’t find living with roommates perfectly smooth. I sometimes couldn’t have the privacy or quietness I wanted. And neither could they, I’m sure. But we did learn to step back, care less about ourselves and be more considerate to others.

On my birthday’eve, no one said anything about parties. Lara just asked me which Thai restaurant in town was my favorite. Of course, I knew they were going to do something.

In the morning of my birthday, while I was staggering to the bathroom, I saw many pictures of my roommates and myself on the door. I rubbed my eyes. Behind me, Lara and Liz said “Happy Birthday.” My suitemates had conspired with several friends to wait in the room until I got back from the gym in the evening. They all took me to Thai Pan Asian, my favorite Thai restaurant in town. Yes, New Haven has Thai restaurants.

A 24-hour gourmet grocery story in New Haven

Yale is located in New Haven. The most attractive quality for me is its five Thai restaurants. I have definitely tried them all. Also, as the first town in the country to invent a pizza, New Haven has several good pizza restaurants, from where my friends and I often ordered pizzas and pastas. Delicious foods from all over the world such as noodles, sushi, or Korean grilled beef are also available.

Despite its small size, New Haven is convenient. I can go shopping at Shaw’s for shampoo and soap. I can go to the Yale bookstore or a few smaller ones nearby for the books I need for classes. I can walk around the little stores near my dorm for winter clothes. Fashionable hand made ornaments are also available at the artistic shops scattered around the town.

Unlike students at school in big cities who go out on weekends, most Yalies just hang around the campus. This creates a sense of community which I think is very important for every institution.

Life at Yale is not perfect though, due to the New England snow, wind, and rain. The region has four seasons, namely summer, fall, winter and spring. Used to hot weather, I find it hard to survive even in late fall (around October and November), let alone winter.

The first time I was exposed to chilly weather, I was too embarrassed to wear winter clothes so early in the fall. So, I bunched myself up and suffered through it. But it kept getting colder and colder. I stopped seeing myself from an outsider’s perspective and started to cover myself up in as many layers as I needed.

Perhaps this experience has molded me to be partly American. I care less about what other people think of me, unless my actions intrude on their lives. As you would have expected, I still now wear much more clothes than the Americans. The difference, however, is that I no longer care what they will think.

As those who have lived away from home would know, fighting alone in the cold is the loneliest experience ever. With the temperature at -15 degrees Celsius, I have to totter through the snow with a couple of two-inch thick textbooks in my bag. Frequently the wind is so strong that I have to pause so that I’m not blown away. Narrowing my eyes against the wind, I see my parents and my sister at home. They are probably sleeping but since I have chosen to be here I must fight. And I know I am not alone.

Buddhist meditation on the Yale campus

There are about six Thai undergraduates and about ten graduate students at Yale. We founded a Thai club called the Student Association of Thais At Yale (SATAY). Every academic year, we meet up at a Thai restaurant to get to know the incoming students. During the year, we also perform traditional Thai shows and hold exhibitions about Thailand. We sometimes cook Thai food together on weekends. And every week we meet up for dinner at the dining hall in one of the residential colleges.

Once, as a representative of the club, I went to a public school in New Haven to give a presentation on Thailand, I taught them how to “Wai” and how to say ‘hi’ in Thai (Sawasdee). The kids seemed to be the most impressed with elephants and how to sing the song “elephants” in Thai. It was my first time to sing in front of a crowd. Fortunately, no one had ever heard of the song, so they didn’t know how well I sang. Still, I was proud to represent my country and introduce it to the world.

Being a student from overseas certainly did not prevent me from having a good time. At the end of October, for example, Bill Clinton, the former US president who is also a Yale alumnus, came to give a speech. As you would have thought, the number of people who wanted to attend the speech exceeded the number of available seats. Therefore, they had to make a draw. Luckily enough, I got to see Clinton in person.

One Saturday in November, I and a few Thai friends dressed up and walked through the cold to join the Casino Night, held by Morse and Ezra Stiles colleges. That was my first time to see a casino. The university had already given us permission, of course.

The Yale Bowl where (American) football games are played

On the Saturday before Thanksgiving, I went to the Yale Bowl, the university’s football stadium, to see the Harvard-Yale football game. After that, I and ten friends went to Puyao’s house where Puyao’s mom made us authentic Chinese meal. She wondered if a girl from Thailand like me would enjoy her Asian food. With considerable pride, I told her in Mandarin that my grandparents had emigrated from China.

Probably because of my Chinese look, Puyao asked me to be a model for the fashion show in CASA (Chinese American Student Association) cultural night. I wore a green sparkling Qi Pao and a Chinese traditional costume. Besides learning what a model’s life is like, I got to meet many new friends. Although I am not Chinese American by any means, they welcomed me to the organisation and still keep me posted on what they are doing.

No, I didn’t go to Yale just to make friends and have fun. I still have a lot more to say about my academic experience there. Let’s continue with that in the next week’s issue.